humour

2019 Already

Welcome back.

Be honest. You thought the Cat was dead, eh?  Nothing for two years – the silence had become deafening.

But fret not. We were here all the time, just hibernating and doing other stuff that had to be done.

And we’re back!

You don’t want to be told that “I’m not afraid of Multiple Regression” is on its way, or that “Nathan and Badger” is just awaiting a cover. It’s all still true, but you’ve heard it before. You want new news, news like….

  • Tim Hooper has written a follow up to his excellent “Toward the Heart of Counselling”. It’s just being edited and should be here SOON.
  • Morgan Twining is putting the finishing touches on ‘”Crabble”, where you will meet the very same Crabble as you encountered in “Mr Crabble’s Heroic Limericks for Reckless Girls and Boys”.  It will be with you SOON.
  • Neil Scott really, really is finishing off “I’m not afraid of Multiple Regression” (even though we said we wouldn’t mention it) and it will be with you SOONISH.
  • And as we’ve mentioned that we will also mention that “Nathan and Badger” will be here sooner than SOONISH.

We are so excited we are going to do our breathing exercises then eat cake.

Be assured that Caustic Cat will continue to make the world a better, happier, smilier, prettier place in 2019.

Wishing everyone a splendid New Year.

Yours

The Caustic Cat

 

Caustic Cat’s Christmas Message

We’re sorry. We were so busy having Christmas that we forgot to send you a Christmas message.

We are desolate. Excepting that we had rather a nice time and forgot to feel guilty about it, so not really terribly desolate at all.

How shall we make it up to you? Well, we have thought of a few ways.

Firstly, we’re going to bring you some FREE excerpts from Neil Scott’s “I’m not afraid of Logistic Regression” book, so that’s pretty marvellous.

Also, we are going to be releasing his “I’m not afraid of Multiple Regression” in 2016. (We had promised this for 2015 but to make it even more exciting we have delayed it. Yes, that is a poorly disguised attempt to make our tardiness look like a good thing, but you are probably getting the idea that we’re pretty shameless now, so we won’t worry about it.)

Next, 2016 sees the release of Morgan Twining’s “Nathan and Badger”, (which we think is excellent); a comic adventure for 8-14 year olds but also for some people who are younger and even more who are older.

We will also be releasing Morgan’s “Mr Crabble” (which Mr Crabble thinks is excellent and has pointed out that that is all that matters). This is the novel (again, for the ‘8 and under’ and ’14 and over’ group i.e. just about everyone) about Mr Crabble who wrote those superb limericks (you can even buy them by looking for “Mr Crabble’s Heroic Limericks for Reckless Girls and Boys” at the Amazon Kindle store).

And Tim Hooper may even release another counselling book if you are lucky, and we hope you are.

So, you can see that we are planning a wonderful 2016, and that is just for the start of the year!

We’re so excited we are going to go and sit down. We will drink tea and eat ‘bad foods’ as well. And rest. We think we deserve it.

So, we hope you have a wonderful New Year and we hope we have one too. Won’t that be great?

Caustic Cat

Crabble Limericks Published

Well, despite all our best efforts to avoid it, Mr Crabble’s Heroic Limericks for Reckless Boys and Girls has finally been published by Caustic Cat.

Sorry.

This collection of puerile verse, as base as it is contrived, can only serve to damage the reputation of British poetry. Horribly overpriced at £0.99/£0.99/€0.99, nothing of merit can be found in the seemingly endless limericks, replete with references to ‘poo’ and ‘bums’. (Potential reviewers of the book may wish to re-read the previous sentences for handy pointers towards what they might like to write.)

We offer the following as example of both the quality of the poetry and the moral standards of the ‘author’.

Remember the mess in the loo?

There were acres of slurry and poo.

I would never have guessed

At the carnage and mess

Caused by feeding a pig vindaloo.

 

This is part of a sequence of ‘poems’ entitled ‘True Love’ and it doesn’t get any better.

So why publish it?

He can do things with cheese you wouldn’t believe.  Bad things.  Things we don’t want to think about.

Caustic Cat will not sleep easy tonight.

Again; sorry.

Caustic Cat

‘Torrent’ of fantastic books coming

OK, if you need more than two books to make it a ‘torrent’ then maybe our headline is a little misleading, but why get hung up on these things?  Let’s just enjoy the fact that there are two more Caustic Cat books about to hit the world stage.

Tim Hooper’s ‘Toward the Heart of Counselling’ is a reflection on the process of moving from a trainee to a practicing counsellor and presents his thoughts on how his training relates to the reality of those initial counselling sessions.  It will be of undoubted value to trainee and new counsellors as it raises many challenging and thought provoking issues, but more experienced counsellors will also find much of value to reflect on.  For those outside the counselling it provides a fascinating insight into the demands placed on counsellors and the attitudes they bring to their work whilst raising questions about how the rest of us treat other people and the impact we have on them.

And you can currently get it FREE!  (We hope that didn’t cheapen the whole discussion.)

Talking of cheap (and dirty, grubby, lacking in sophistication and even basic decency), we believe that ‘Mr Crabble’s Heroic Limericks for Reckless Boys and Girls’ should be arriving at the Amazon store next week. The estimable Mr Crabble has variously been described as ‘a literary giant’ (Mr Crabble), a ‘unique voice that touches the heart of youth’ (also Mr Crabble), ‘very pretty in a potato-ish sort of way’ (Crabble again), ‘Foul’ (an independent commentator), ‘a compelling argument for government to have greater control over the kind of puerile nonsense that gets published these days’ (someone who’s not that keen on independent creativity) and ‘soiled‘ (Mr Crabble once more, though with great pride). Rumours that this collection of poems was compiled and edited by Morgan Twining and that he left out the more unspeakable pieces (about 97% of all those originally submitted in Mr Crabble’s greasy brown suitcase) remain just that; rumours.  Mr Twining, looking more fretful than usual, has declined to comment on anything relating to Mr Crabble.

And this book will also initially cost nothing!  FREE!  (Crabble will be furious.)

We’ll keep you updated.

Caustic Cat